(no subject)

[meanfreepath]

Ryan had wanted a 2-axis stage on my holography apparatus. This required some new standoffs which I designed yesterday; I had to base my design off my notebook and drawings in the computer because he was using the apparatus, and I thus could not break it down and check certain measurements.

It was a long morning in the shop... I got in around 9:15 and finished cleaning up in time for a very late lunch at 2:30. This evening I discovered that I needed to make some tricky modifications to another part and managed to do that successfully. By the time I had cleaned everything and was assembling, it was around 1 am.

And then I discovered that the standoffs were too short. I checked my drawings. I looked at my notebook. And then I picked up the part they were replacing and checked with the calipers... it turned out that I had based my design on an out-of-date, incorrect entry.

I was furious. I happened to be sitting on the couch in the lab office when I figured this out, and throwing my head back in fury managed to strike my head hard against the corner of a doorframe. I cursed. I punched the couch. I even threw my lab notebook across the office. More than a day's worth of work in crunch time, more or less completely wasted. I honestly can't remember the last time I was as angry as I was.

Back at it tomorrow, I suppose... all I've got to show for the evening's adventures is a lump on my head.

Comments

[sildra.livejournal.com]

In light of this, I'm especially concerned by your comment that you'd have considered trying to fix this tonight if there'd been someone around to be your shop buddy.

I don't want to make light of your bad day (and I hope I didn't sound like I was trying to on AIM tonight). It really does sound like you had a legitimately bad day at work today.

But I see this as part of a pattern where you consistently react strongly to things--often considerably more strongly than the situation warrants--and it usually involves being angry with yourself. As I said this evening, either you've improved a bit since college or you don't come to me with your problems as much as you used to, but it's still troubling how often I see you get very upset over things that, taken in the perspective of a week or a month, are really quite trivial.

One bad day at work, that ended up not advancing your project at all, is frustrating, sure--we've all had it happen--but it's not something to get so upset over. Whether or not it was your fault, or you should have known better, or whatever reason you're angry, it's still a pretty small thing. You didn't break any existing pieces; you didn't injure yourself (until you got upset); all that happened was you wasted a day.

I say all this because, as I said on AIM this evening, I'm concerned that in the long term this sort of thing can really affect your health. Maybe even in the short term, too--wouldn't it be awful if you'd gone into the shop tonight, angry and tired, and injured yourself? (A labmate of mine cut off part of his finger last year just through carelessness and overconfidence; think how much worse it could have been if he'd been upset to begin with and thus, in addition to being careless and overconfident, had also been tired and in a rush.)

[rose_garden.livejournal.com]

I totally support sildra's comment.

[mst3kforall.livejournal.com]

I don't know Jerome well enough to know about these issues, but I did want to offer my sympathy for the crappy day.